Discipleship and Marriage

On the journey of discipleship together for more than 36 years. 

Scripture:

Mark 10:2   Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” ³ He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” ⁴ They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” ⁵ But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. ⁶ But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ⁸ and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. ⁹ Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Mark 10:10   Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. ¹¹ He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; ¹² and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Observation:

Jesus’ teaching on discipleship continues as the Pharisees challenge him on the question of divorce. This is a conversation full of nuance related to the particular context. Under the law of Moses men had been permitted to give their wife a certificate of divorce. The problem was that people had interpreted this in such a way that it was abused. Jesus turns the tables on the leaders and asks them whether Moses had commanded them to respond in such a way. In carefully chosen words we see that this is not a command, but instead, it is a concession given by Moses. 

Understanding that they were looking for affirmation of the ways in which they were living their lives, Jesus rebuked them. They weren’t following these laws in a thoughtful way, but in a legalistic way, and they were proud of it! At the same time there may have been another hidden motive. John the Baptist had been beheaded for what he said about the illegal relationship of Herodias, so maybe Jesus could be trapped into saying something that would result in his demise. 

Jesus wasn’t about to be fooled. He makes this a very teachable moment, bringing them back to the moment of creation and God’s intention for humanity. Alone with the disciples, they ask him to explain what he has said. The teaching continued for the disciples, for God’s standard was the restoration of all of humankind into the image of God. This meant that as God’s followers they were to strive toward the ideal which had been laid out in creation. What we miss in Jesus’ teaching here is the subtle nuance that elevates the stature of women. 

Application:

Kent Brower summarizes this difficult passage for us very well:

First, in cultural contexts in which divorce is common, such as the first-century Greco-Roman world or the twenty-first-century West, this passage offers an uncompromising statement of principle about the intention of marriage in the Creator’s purposes. Marriage is to be a lifelong, monogamous, heterosexual relationship. The termination of a marriage for whatever reason is not an alternative pattern with the same divine intention. Divorce and remarriage are always deviations from God’s ideal. Christians endorse the sanctity of marriage. 

Second, the passage is also a reminder that things are often not the way they should be in this world. And this is due to hard hearts—human deviation from God’s intentions, including for marriage. Divorce is an admission that something has gone wrong in a marriage relationship that renders it beyond repair. Divorce may bring great relief to an intolerable situation—such as spousal abuse of any kind or repeated infidelity. Divorce in such cases merely confirms that the trust necessary for a marriage no longer exists. But the reason for divorce is not a matter of celebration. Divorce as a last resort is merely the lesser of two evils. 

Third, the victims of the tragedy of a broken marriage with its dashed hopes and severed relationships are among the last and the least that are the focus of Jesus’ mission. They are in desperate need of the love, restoration, forgiveness, and healing that comes from God and through his people. This is important when religious instincts tend toward legalism and harshness. 

Fourth, in this episode Jesus places men and women at the same level of responsibility and ethical standards. He insists that adultery applies equally to men and women as victims and perpetrators. He couples this egalitarian understanding with the citation of Gen 1:27 as the foundation of male and female relationships. Gender inequality has no place in the people of God. (NBBC, Mark: A Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition . Nazarene Publishing House. Kindle Edition.)

Life in the kingdom of God raises an expectation that we bring every part of our lives under God’s leading. For too long the people of God had allowed marriage to be thrown away on a whim. Jesus was challenging his disciples to bring their personal lives under the authority of God and to be restored into God’s original intent. 

Prayer:

Lord, may you come into the very midst of our lives and families so that we may reflect you. Amen.